I had a fun convo with a gal pal of mine at the office today. We graduated the same year from high school, 1978. You know, the dark ages. Or better yet, the DISCO ages.
Yes, we were products of the 70s. And are now dealing with teenagers. And we started listing all the stuff that is different now for teens than in the 70s. And it goes something like this:
We didn’t even know what a limo ride was until we got married.
Our prom dresses covered nearly every INCH of our body. Mine was from Gunne Sax-I looked like I just stepped out of the TV show “Little House on the Prairie”
There was no Victoria’s Secret. Had there been, my high school years would have been WAY different.
Padded bras in the 70s looked like you stuffed two sanitary napkins in your bra.
Hair color-what was that? We IRONED our hair to get it straight-right there on mom’s ironing board. We did find out that koolaid could color and so did henna. But all the fast girls used the henna.
Fast girls were ones that let the guys go to second and third base. And smoked cigarettes in the girls room. Our teenage girls don’t even know what that is anymore-baseball is a sport and cigarettes are too expensive.
And if Bill Clinton says it was not sex, then………
Kissing other girls does not necessarily mean you are a Lesbian.
We went out on actual DATES.
Most, not all, waited a year or two or three…to have sex. Now, if they wait 10 minutes it’s a lifetime.
Phones were connected to the wall. My two sisters and I shared one. We also shared one bathroom. And we still speak today.
Our lip color choices consisted of one –Bonnie Bell and my favorite was the Dr. Pepper flavor.
Manicures and Pedicures were unheard of. Mainly because we did not have the influx of the Asian Manicure Mafia in our country yet. Thank god for that.
We would never take photos of ourselves in bathing suits of any kind. Nor post it for anyone to see. Now my Instagram feed is full of soft porn from teenage girls with duck faces hugging each other in teeny weeny bikinis. From Victoria’s Secret.
We never would have told the most popular girl in the school that 1. We loved her 2. That she was so beautiful. 3. That I wish I could be you 4. I love your hair, etc. Mostly we just hated her silently. The love fest on Facebook and other types of social media is fucking ridiculous.
If you were pissed off at somebody, you wrote it in the bathroom stall.
Stalking to us was the process of stealing beer, getting in a girlfriend’s Ford Pinto, and driving back and forth past such boy’s house looking to see if he was home.
We had Seventeen Magazine-Cosmo when we turned 18 and could read it in our dorm room. Now, at the age of 16 our girls know 20 ways to give oral sex. Lovely. I thought oral sex was french kissing until I went to college and found out otherwise. I was devastated.
Speaking of which, I had a talk with my teen at 13, because that ‘french kissing’ thing was becoming quite the hot topic in middle school (be prepared ladies, I speak the truth) and I told her, “The only reason to do something like that is if he can afford to buy you nice jewelry from Tiffany’s.”
If our parents had a teacher conference when we were in high school, Oh wait, our parents never had conferences in high school. With anybody. Unless, of course you were being expelled.
We had a smoking lounge at our high school. We could buy alcohol at 18.
We were actually really afraid of our parents. And our friends parents. And we never ever called them by their first names. And we turned out just fine.
Different times. And thank GOD that there was no Facebook or Twitter then. I would have been more of a blithering idiot than I was in 1978………