Why Real Estate Agents Will Never Go Hungry

7

We’ll Do Anything to Get Them There…..

Ahhhh Tuesdays.

Since I am a member of the real estate community, I wanted to tell you about a sacred day in our world and in most areas, Tuesday. On Tuesdays, if you are a residential agent, you will never go hungry. There is no way a real estate agent should ever starve to death because on this day each week we will always be treated to a free lunch, breakfast, or both!

Tuesdays are the usual days for our  ‘kumbaya’ sales meetings. At these meetings we get information on our local markets, try to one-up each other on how many new listings we have, and stroke the ego of our top-selling agents by asking them the big questions like, “How do you tell your Seller that the Moosehead taxidermy over their master bed has got to go?”.

Vendors trying to obtain our business will often bring a free breakfast consisting of bagels,donuts and free pens, note pads and chip clips. Yes, you will miss swag if you do not attend. And we also pitch our caravans.

In the Realtor world, Caravans are the place where you get lunch, Starbucks cards, lottery tickets, and sometimes cash awards for attending. The most popular, of course, is LUNCH.

I have been selling real estate for over 20 years and have found that there are 9 types of agents who attend these events as described below:

1. The I Only Come if you have Food Agent. This agent will only come to the caravan if there is food, and always asks what you are serving before they show up.

2. The Old Guy Who Only Goes to Caravans to Eat And has NEVER  sold a House in his Lifetime Agent. He usually shows up first, takes large portions, and hits on the women. He is usually a retiree.

3. The Nosy Competing Agent from the Overpriced House Down The Street. Oh, you will get an ear full from her. She will go through each room, tell you how much her listing is better than yours, and accuse you of underpricing the neighborhood.

4. The I Just Got My License and have NOTHING Better To Do Agent. She just got her license because she loves ‘looking at houses’ and her first transaction is to list her own home. Or her mother’s, or her sister’s, etc. More than likely she can’t find a tennis team that will put up with her.

5. The Black Widow Super Agent. She walks in, wearing St. John’s, has sold ‘oh so many houses in this area’, proceeds to tell you she has 3 Buyers for your listing, but you are overpriced. She never takes off her Fendi shades. She also has a great facelift and you wonder who her plastic surgeon is.

6. The Clique Agents.  These folks only travel in a pack.  They show up, preview, hurriedly fill in your feedback form, then proceed to park themselves at the kitchen table and carry on for at least an hour about their life, business, whatever.  They keep getting up to get more iced tea and chips.  They drive you crazy.

7.  The Smell Agent.  This agent has a propensity to smell everything.  The minute she walks in she will ask,  “Do they have a dog?”  or, “Uh, oh, someone must be smoking–didn’t you tell them that if it smells it won’t sell?”  Always in a sing-song voice.

8.  The I have an Interior Design Background Agent.  This agent will proceed to re-decorate your listing and tell you what to re-paint, what to re-carpet, and how COULD they even think to put that table in that dining room.  By the time she is gone you have mentally reduced the price 50K.

9.  The Nosy Neighbor.  Last but not least, this neighbor has shown up with the excuse, “I thought this was an Open House”.  After you explain that it is a Broker Open, she will then proceed to tell you she once had her license in Texas and then look at the whole house.  Offer her some food, though, she could be your next listing!

I still believe in Caravans.  If anything-they are fun, you get feedback for your seller, and best of all, you have guilt free food! Nothing like being able to write off a bag of Lay’s Barbeque chips. . .

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7 comments on “Why Real Estate Agents Will Never Go Hungry

  1. ROFL!! “Should we go to the Italian lunch in Dunwoody, the Chi-Chic Catering lunch in Buckhead, the BBQ in Brookhaven, or the free wine in Sandy Springs?” “I dunno — do we have to do all four?” “Why, yes, I think we do. We might even be able to fit in the cash grab-bag in Chamblee on our way back!” “Cool! Who’s driving?!”

  2. Forever 51 says:

    We ALWAYS plot by food and giveaways–shhhh don’t tell anybody…..

  3. Just imagine how ‘colorful’ it would be if you served wine.

  4. evil one says:

    Call da po po

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