It’s hard to be hot mom at Halloween when you are closing in on 53 and are always hot. As in the FLASH kind.
We have a neighbor who has an annual Halloween party every year that just about every one in the hood has been to at one time or another and yes, the adults DO dress up. And because of that, I love this party. Most folks really take the time to think up creative costumes. And the with the amount of effort that my girlfriend puts in to fixing up her house and serving us food and drink deserves that.
Trying to think of a great costume when the only one you KNOW you will be comfy in is the Honey Boo Boo or June outfit (you know, roomy, lotsa makeup, elastic pants..)take up a good part of my October. And those temporary Halloween costume stores are overpriced. And the freaks who work there give me hives. And, did you notice that all the hot moms get their shit there? Did you also know it is headquarters for slutty women’s and teen’s outfits? I am sure you do.
And it is the ONLY store where I have to buy a costume in a woman’s size. Only. Really bad fucking marketing creepy temporary Halloween stores, really bad. None of which do not include the words vixen, french maid, officer good body, or beer girl. More like maid, sumo, funny waitress, Baby Bop, kill me now.
So this year I decided to go as the New Jersey Tan Mom-easy peasy–all I needed was dark foundation, light glossy lipstick and I had a blonde wig from last year which I cut.
I was a hit!
Some of my friends really were creative. One couple was LMFAO, one of my recently divorced girlfriends came as EX Bride of Frankenstein (it was hilarious), One guy came as a picnic table with food on it, there were also 50 Shades of Grey, Pitbull, and Waldo costumes. I had a great time. Was over served too much red wine (well, I kept serving myself). And was extremely comfy.
Except I flashed all my tan off.
Next time, I am going as a refrigerator.