Reality Bites-My Daughter is not ME

17 & BC...@F51

17 & BC…@F51

“Honey, that camo hoodie looks really great with your Glock”.

What mother ever thinks THAT is going to come out of their mouth, at one point or another? Not THIS one…

I should have known, marrying a military man, that guns would be a part of our household. And they have been to a small extent. Locked up in various nooks and crannies and hiding places in our house. And I am not a big fan of firearms. Or anything remotely associated with them.

And I should have known that at one point, he would take her to the range and teach her how to use these things responsibly. And he did. And I should have known that at one point they would go camping and he would text me pictures of her in camo, ugly lace up hunting boots, and proudly holding up two squirrels that she took down in a firefight. And he did. I am in mourning in my Lilly Pulitzer house coat and Tory Burch slippers as we speak.

So proud....sniff sniff

So proud….sniff sniff

This is NOT a pro gun post. This is NOT pro hunting post. This is NOT a post to try to get some of you riled up about guns and those issues.

This IS a post about how Girl Power is alive in well in this household.

We’ve always been a bit of an unconventional lot here in Mermaid land.  17 is an only child. Yep-had to deal with that choice with all of you multiple child experts out there. Let me put it this way:  God knew what he was doing when he sent me only one.

Because we are an airline family, she has been able to go to some pretty cool places with us.  She has always been a home body. She plays Xbox with the big boys. She has been tossed from many crazy cheap horses her mom has tried to get her and still gets back on. She has had a hamster, fish, lizard and snake. We are down to 2 cats and one rabbit. Thankfully. She does not take the EASY route to anything. I have offered to do projects for her, take tests for her, and she still would rather fail the test than have someone else do it for her.

We have had our share of trials in teenage land as well. Boyfriends, break ups, mean girls, stolen vodka from the hiding space. But over all, our non-traditional girl is pretty damn cool.

Once in a while, I have my pity party and mourn the fact that she is not the class president, cheerleader, fanatic church teen. But, oh, what a boring life we would lead.

It’s takes a mindset change to accept that she is not YOU. It will also take copious amounts of wine and antidepressants.

Even though they have had days when they wouldn’t even speak to one another, she and her father share a bond of anti authority awesomeness.  So maybe he won’t be walking her out, on the football field, her senior year, with that damn crown on her head and a bouquet of roses in her arms. But you can bet he has taught her how to fend for herself and the confidence to do so. I think THAT is what will carry her through her life. Not a cheap tiara, or a Most Popular award in the yearbook.

And even though she has chosen to take the un-conventional route through high school (monitored home school not by ME thank God) it works for us. And her. I live in an area where high achievers are the norm. Whether they want to be high achievers is another thing. And I know her path through college or whatever further education she chooses will probably be unconventional too.

Getting to the point that this is fine with us has been fraught with challenges for both BC and I. But at the end of the day we know that she will be able to fend for herself.

Besides, when they decide to make a Tory Burch .22 it WILL be in my handbag…


11 comments on “Reality Bites-My Daughter is not ME

  1. I love this because my 12 year old will be your 17 year old, and I look at her and just wonder that she is mine and love her so fiercely it scares me and I am so proud that she marches to the beat of her own drummer no matter how tough it is. Kudos to you as the mom that gets it.

  2. As long as the kids are happy and not bloody – it’s all good! I do beg them to let me choose all their classes and stuff. Sydney won’t let me take the flute again next year…I mean she said she won’t be taking music next year…darn!

  3. Your girl is amazing. She’s smart, beautiful, funny, articulate — all that good grownup stuff. Plus she looks good in camo AND when she dresses like a chick. Not everyone can straddle that line. I think the dead squirrels help.

  4. ddkelly says:

    Love it! Our daughter looks just as pretty in her cammo and boots as she does in her TB flats 😉 Give me a “well rounded” kid ANY day vs an “over achiever.” jus sayin…

  5. “Fanatic church teens” scare the shit out of me. Your girl seems super cool.

  6. Lisa has three boys and me, a son and daughter, and I can completely relate to your writing about how your daughter’s independence. She looks adorable in camo, with a 1000 watt smile. You are rightly proud! thanks for posting this in our linky today – wonderful writing.

  7. Julie DeNeen says:

    Such a good post. My kids aren’t that old yet, but I know what it’s like to have the pressure to be like your mother. I don’t want to do that to my girls…I can already tell that Ellie is going to be unconventional. Best take up the wine and anti-depressants now. Oh wait, I already do!

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