Meet Mom’s Facelift!

3

<——-THIS is the boyfriend you want your daughter to have.

Dro is 16’s latest BF. This is the great thing about girls and horses.

  • They don’t text each other all day long
  • He only wants kisses and treats like Quaker Cinnamon Oatmeal Squares, and of course, carrots.
  • He doesn’t care what the other horses say about his relationship with her
  • He won’t blab stupid lies and details about her to his buddies
  • He’s gelded…..(thank god…)
  • He’s gorgeous so she can still make her bitchy girlfriends jealous of him
  • And when they break up-it’s usually because she has outgrown him, or outgrown the sport

When you have a daughter that starts in pony land, falls off, gets back up and keeps going, you’d better start saving your money. Horses are not cheap.
I could buy a pair of Italian shoes every 6 weeks for what I pay my farrier.
The amount of vet bills over the last 10 years could have paid for lipo, tummy tuck, boob job AND a facelift.
There is NO WAY you can get out of a horse show without spending at the barest minimum $300 for the weekend.
Equipment-do NOT get me started. Let’s just say that leather stuff is not cheap, saddles have to be comfy and fit them right, and the clothes. Ohhhh, the clothes. Tailored shirts, monograms, lightweight wool jackets, custom boots…………No wonder all my clothes come from Costco. Even my underwear…….

Convincing BC that this is all worth it is another matter.  He’s on board, grudgingly.  It is cheaper than bail, rehab, and gets her out of the house.

My horse addiction started as a tween.  I had a little pony named Boots that was like a large dopey golden retriever.  We would pack lunches and trail ride down to the Chattahoochee River and race on the old Polo Fields on Columns Drive in the Atlanta burbs.  I still have such great memories of that.  And it fosters independence.

Every teenager has to have SOMETHING that makes them feel good about themselves.  Academics, band, sports, clubs, whatever.  16’s happens to be animals. And I don’t feel so bad about all the money–a girlfriend of mine just spent $900 for all of her son’s band uniforms and equipment.

When 16 is out at the barn, a calmness comes over her that is only seen around her horse.  No rushing, no whining, meticulously cleans her tack, hangs out…. and she’s nice to ME.

If I could bottle it and bring that home and spray it on her when she turns into T Rex then I could make millions.

Happiness is a warm horsie — with a new show name : Mom’s Facelift

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WTF Wednesday Olympic Edition

In honor of the current large sporting event going on across the pond–I did some internet research to find what I feel are some of the funniest WTF photos of athletes at the Olympics-hope you are wearing your Depends: (Oh, and a little man candy….)

Why We Wax…..

Why you shouldn’t go Commando at the Olympics…

Even headless girls can do gymnastics!

Holy Shit-I just jumped of a really high platform!

OK, THIS is a bad day……

There is a reason for allover tanning…

Oh Hell NO!

Uh, see first photo, dude….

OK a little MAN CANDY for my gurlzzzzzz!

Enjoy the Olympics! Because this is the ONLY time it’s  ever acceptable to say that you love to see a guy in a Speedo…..

PS These photos are NOT mine, either….