When Life is one Giant Silver Medal

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I am the ultimate silver medal award winner. Have been all of my life. You know-if you aren’t the lead dog, your view never changes?

Numbah 2!!!

Well, last night those chipper reporters on NBC made some sort of silver medal quote. Something like, “She will have to settle for the silver

OMG – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO –kill me now, there go the endorsement deals, there goes the Wheaties Box, my life is ooooovvvveeeerrrrr, SOB, SNIFFLE, cough…..

Ladies and Gents–how many times have YOU won the silver?

Me? LOTS!!!

1.  Life:  I was always the last picked for dodge ball – I know it’s a cliche but I LIVED that cliche!

2.  Love:  Especially in high school-I was ‘one of the guys’, not the one you asked out.

3.  Boobs:  They didn’t show up until my sophomore year in college.

4.  College:  I did not get into my first choice

5.  Cheerleading:  My sister made the Varsity squad, not me–and we tried out at the same time-AWKWARD

6.  Prom:  My sister was asked to go before I was — double AWKWARD

7.  My first job was at Burger King–when they had those red & orange polyester dresses and caps-and I wore support hose and earth shoes, IN HIGH SCHOOL

8.  My Period:  My sister…well, you know…..and I promise I won’t go there about Homecoming…..

9.  Senior Yearbook:  I won for ‘Tries Hardest”

10.  College:  I went to a woman’s college..enough said.

11.  College:  I was invited to football games by the frat boys because I had a big handbag-yes, really-you can stuff at least 3 bottles of Jim Beam in there

12.  College:  See big handbag-great place to puke when you drink all the Jim Beam

13.  Career:  Wanted to be a Journalist. Worked as a waitress in a Greek restaurant and at a local Arts non-profit for $8K a year in 1982.  Then got hired at an FM radio station–did voice overs for a local jeans store and my largest account was a Lube place.  Wanted the McDonald’s account but wouldn’t do what was required for that.  If you know what I mean.

15.  Career:  Selling real estate–this really toughened my hide–I was pretty used to being ditched by guys, well in real estate it is a requirement for your staying power.  My therapy skills as a great friend has served me well in this career.  And, showing pretty homes all the time definitely makes me think every time I walk in the door to MY house that it is the silver medal winner.

But here is the secret-the silver medal is good.  It makes you try harder.  It makes you resilient.  It makes you appreciate the little things.  It makes you thankful.  It strengthens your faith. It makes you laugh and not take yourself so seriously. It makes you go out of your comfort zone.  So, I guess, settling for something is not always that bad……and silver looks much better with my other jewelry!

But, I HAVE received the gold medal.  In family, in friends, in humor, and especially in BC.  To put up with my crap, he deserves a Nobel Peace prize, not a gold medal!

 

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WTF Wednesday Olympic Edition

In honor of the current large sporting event going on across the pond–I did some internet research to find what I feel are some of the funniest WTF photos of athletes at the Olympics-hope you are wearing your Depends: (Oh, and a little man candy….)

Why We Wax…..

Why you shouldn’t go Commando at the Olympics…

Even headless girls can do gymnastics!

Holy Shit-I just jumped of a really high platform!

OK, THIS is a bad day……

There is a reason for allover tanning…

Oh Hell NO!

Uh, see first photo, dude….

OK a little MAN CANDY for my gurlzzzzzz!

Enjoy the Olympics! Because this is the ONLY time it’s  ever acceptable to say that you love to see a guy in a Speedo…..

PS These photos are NOT mine, either….