Wordless Wednesdays

7
@ Forever 51

@ Forever 51

Here is how it works:

You can find and post any photo – just try to look for one where there might be more than meets the eye going on. You know, the “picture is worth 1000 words idea.”

Wordless in that I’m not going to give any details about this image.

  • Can you tell what it is?
  • What does it make you think of?
  • Does the color match your sentiments about the image?
  • Do you like it?  Why or why not?
  • How does it make you feel?

This “PhotoHop” has been created by Pictimilitude – you can join in by going to her page and finding out how! You do not have to be a blogger either–Come on-Join IN!

You can answer in the comments or tweet it to me at @hellomap as well! Or just enjoy…

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Blind Date = My Fate

27
jpme

1988

BC and I have been married 24 years.  As he calls me, his FIRST wife…

We met on a blind date.  Now, at 26, I was pretty fabulous and really didn’t go out on blind dates. I had guys at my doorstep pretty much all the time. COUGH COUGH.  But it WAS a Friday night, I WAS bored, and figured I’d meet this fly boy for the purpose of him buying me drinks and having some fun.

He was fresh out of the Air Force and a new hire at a major airline.  He was also pretty good-looking so I figured-hey, he’s employed, not fat, and educated.  The fact that he was a pilot was kind of a deal killer.  I have a cousin who was a Navy pilot and let me tell you how those guys can party!  If anyone could drink me under a table it was my cousin.  He was also responsible for me having outrageous hang overs at all of his sister’s weddings. 25 plus years later he still likes to remind me at family gatherings.

This was the second guy I had met that did exactly what he said he was going to do.  Case in point:  He said that he would call me the next day.  I’d heard THAT before. And this was after a night of serious drinking, smoking and telling dirty jokes on my part.  So the next day I was in the shower and my roommate yelled in to my bathroom, “Hey, you know that guy you met last night-he just called.”

REALLLLLLYYYYY???

Our first date was to see the movie Revenge of the Nerds. Seriously.  And then he showed me his video of him flying a fighter jet.  In a flight suit. With the Top Gun sound track in the background.  I was done….

Four months after we met, we were engaged.  We were married a year and a week of our first date.  And, as far as I know, he has ALWAYS done what he said he was going to do.  Well except for finishing hanging the shutters on the front of the house.  And finish installing the hardwoods upstairs in our home.  And cleaning up the basement (AKA Man Cave..).

But I digress.

We’ve been married 24 years.  And it hasn’t always been easy.  I can be a handful sometimes. But, I found the secret to a happy marriage–TRAVEL!

Yes, we get to fly for free anywhere in the world.  And we have really enjoyed that. But for a marriage to be successful, I really believe that the fact that he is gone about 2-3 nights a week has kept us from killing each other. And my mom’s sage advice-if he ain’t horny, make him a sandwich!

Many pilots are on 2nd and 3rd wives.  Yep-it’s hard knowing he is out in Paris having bread and wine with the crew on the lawn in front of the Eiffel Tower.  Or enjoying the sites at the nude beach in Rio. Or climbing the steps to the Acropolis in Greece.  Or navigating the vineyards in South Africa. Many wives are intensely jealous of that part of the job.  Get over it-they are also dealing with passengers, management, cranky flight attendants, jet lag and bed bugs.

For me, there’s the freedom to have popcorn for dinner.  To meet a group of girlfriends and slam some martinis.  Or skip off on my passes to visit a girlfriend in LA.  In fact, he encourages it.

BC is also my polar opposite.  My wing man at the neighborhood parties.  He knows when to get me out of a party when he sees me looking for a cigarette or I jump on stage with the band.  He hates rap, disco, and my love of  Madonna. The only time he has EVER danced was at my wedding.  He is frugal.  He still wears t-shirts that he had in college.  He does his own laundry.  He loves leftovers.  The dishwasher has to be FULL before I start it. He’s too cheap to cheat.

His ethics are impeccable.  When we were first married, we were grocery shopping and had a bag of pretzels in the cart.  Me, being hungry, opens the bag and grabs a handful. I thought he was going to have a stroke right there:

BC:  You are NOT going to eat that right here???????

Me:  Yep-I am hungry!

BC:  But, we haven’t PAID for those yet!!!!!!

Me:  But, we WILL…(big eye roll on my part)

He doesn’t always get my logic.  But that’s what makes it work.  Besides, if I had married myself, we’d be in a one bedroom apartment with outrageous credit card debt, and great designer handbag , driving a luxury automobile and wishing I was in a house.

BC & 17

BC & 17

He has seen me at my worst and my best.  He has encouraged me every time I think of a new scheme to make extra money.  He then rolls his eyes-here we go again…But I put up with the polyester uniform, clip-on tie, the sexy black earth shoes, and his penchant for airport Chinese food. It is true love.

And he’s on a trip today.  The dishwasher is not full.  So I’m cranking that baby right up!

Muwahahahaha

This post was inspired yet again by my ladies at GenFab – our assignment this week on our blog hop was How we first met our husbands or significant other – Join us and check the rest of these gals out-we are FAB!

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Marry Me, Fly For Free

1

BC-El Capitano

24 years ago I was set up on a blind date.  With an airline pilot-former Air Force captain.  In my single days, I had a cousin who was a Navy fighter pilot and had come to visit me on leave and practically got us all arrested, drank every bit of my meager supply of booze, and scared off my girlfriends.  I was NOT looking forward to this.  But I was bored and didn’t have much else to do that Friday nite so I decided to meet whomever this was.

A year later we were married and living in suburban Atlanta.  What was I thinking?

FLIGHT BENEFITS!!!!!!!!!!!   Yippeeeee!!!!

Even if the uniform is all polyester and he wears a clip-on tie.  Wow, soooo hot….

So, over the course of our married life, we have been able to travel to some pretty great places around the world.  Even if we do stay in the airline discount places and not the Ritz.  Besides-I consider a hotel with a door to the outside camping and I certainly won’t do that.

And the great part of this benefit is you usually get in the first class cabin space available.  That is, until fares dropped, 9/11 tanked the airline industry, and it was cheaper to fly than take Greyhound.

The other benefit-or it could be a detriment, is that your child gets to fly anywhere too, and is eligible for first (space available) after the age of 8.  So every time we have flown to Europe, 16 has flown in business class. Good or bad, it is a great perk.

But the funny thing is that our kids are so well-traveled  these days, they have no idea what it is like to ride in a yellow 1976 Pontiac station wagon for 17 hours from New Jersey to Florida with two sisters whom you detest and a father who tells his “What, NO Green Beans?” story 10 times on the way.

How Fun are these!!!

I remember the times I begged my dad to stop over nite at South of the Border in South Carolina.  For those of you who have traveled I-95 from Florida to the northeast, this is the mecca of tacky hotel.  They have billboards for hundred of miles that say “Pedro Sez..Chili Today, Hot Tamale!!..Stay at South of the Border!”  My family would tease me so much about this. So one time, we finally stayed there.  It was a defining moment for me.

First of all, I won an argument.  Second of all, the memories of walking through the giant painted sombrero that was the check in lobby was like walking into the Vatican.  The amount of cheesy gift shops was astounding.  The rooms had those striped Mexican blankets in them.  Shag carpet.  And my family could not stop laughing at me.  I  still get grief about it to this day. And I still like kitchy hotels–like the Excalibur in Vegas, but you won’t catch me dead in one.  Unless I am the owner…….. And Holy Crap! Now SOTB has a new  attraction, a reptile lagoon!

So snagging an airline pilot was a good move on my part.  Except for the time I flew with him to San Francisco, and knowing I ‘d had copious amounts of coffee that morning, and knowing what that does to my system, he decided it would be funny to leave on the seat belt light for over 30 minutes climbing out of SFO on a clear morning.  I will never forgive him for that.

Or the time 16 was 16 months old and coming home from Florida she was screaming on descent so I gave her a bottle, which prompted her large intestines to dump her innerds out on me through her pretty white stockings she had on.  And the businessmen around me were looking at me with that “WTF is that smell?” look. And that was the first time I ever had the inkling to run up, open the plane door, and jump, or throw her out. Whatever…..

We take our kids on all of these glorious vacations.  Disney, Europe, Carnival Cruises, NYC, even many sleepover camps have air conditioning in the cabins.  I kid you not.  Airline kids have it even better.  16 has been to Paris, Brussels, Germany (many times, I have a sister there), Dallas, Caymans, Jamaica, LA to see ‘The Ellen Show’, the Marriott 42nd St in Manhattan, and more.

I need to start a travel company that is called, “The Torture Travel Company For Kids”.  All trips are car based, no fast food stops unless it is a Stuckey’s-type place.  Other than that it is homemade turkey sandwiches in a cooler, they have to bring a book and one game-no electronics, no phones, no TV, or movies in the car, have to stay at a creepy hotel with a crappy pool for at least one night,  and then stay at their grandparents place for a minimum of 3 nights with no eating out.  That oughta fix ’em.

And mom and dad get a free weekend vacation at a Ritz if they survive it and don’t involve the police at anytime during the trip.  That’s incentive!

It’s hard to justify a car trip when it’s easier and sometimes cheaper to fly.  The only thing BC forgot to tell me was that it is standby.  But, now with 25 years of service (and a plastic set of gold wings to prove it), we do get on more often than not.  With the great unwashed.  In coach.

My Hormones > Her Hormones

If you think you want to wait to have a baby in your late 30s, think again.

I have a 16 year old daughter. I am 52. Do the math.

Her hormones and my hormones are constantly at war with each other. And poor BC is suffering right though it with the assistance of a bottle of scotch. (BTW, my husband will be hereafter referred to BC –ball and chain, get it?– from now on). Lucky him. I don’t think this is what he signed up for.

Oh, we were married 7 years before we even thought about kids. BC is an airline pilot so we enjoyed the benefits of that career all over the US and Europe. Our goal was to do it in as many states as we could including foreign countries. But, because he is constantly in fear of screwing up and losing his job, he will NOT join the mile high club with me. Says when he retires we will–oh yay-I was thinking in your 20s it would be way more fun. In our 60’s we could break a hip…..

So, at the age of 35, in my ‘i can have it all’ era-I had this wonderful little girl after 36 hours of labor and a C Section. That was the end of my perky boobs and flat stomach. And sleep. Though I didn’t know it yet.

And a band nerd having a hot teenager with clear skin, straight long hair and perky breasts is not a great combination. For me or for her.

So at 36 the fatigue was horrendous. She was not a great sleeper, and hated naps. At 16, she stays up until 3am, sleeps until 3pm, and when she is out with her friends she is in a car with other hormone filled, crap decision-making teens just like her.

The sleep deprivation is back.

I asked my younger sister, who is way so smarter than me and had her first at 24-who is now married and completely sane with a Masters and a hot doctor hubby–will this ever end? Am I always going to sleep with one eye open for the rest of my life?

And she said yes-you probably will. Because sane, insane, wild, nerdy, studious, funny, pretty, nerdy, or otherwise, they are your kid and you will always worry about them.

And just as she gets out of diapers, you will be back in diapers. At least you can now wear them under red-carpet ready dresses a la Lisa Rhinna.

But it so worth it. Just try to do this in your 20’s, Ok? Or early 30’s………….